


When You Feel Better

by Thesis



Category: Free!
Genre: Free! Kink Meme, Happy Ending?, Kink Meme, M/M, implied past onesided rin/haru, unwanted handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 11:51:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesis/pseuds/Thesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fill for the Free! Kink Meme: Rin takes out his piled-up frustrations on Nitori. Bonus if Rin realizes what he has done and feels really, really guilty afterwards. SO YEAH THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP. There is noncon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Feel Better

Sometimes Rin watches movies, and the hero will lose his temper. He will throw a punch at a wall or an innocent bystander, or hell, even at the antagonist. He will yell at his girlfriend when nothing was her fault; when all she has done is try to help him. And Rin will roll his eyes and think - how pathetic. How is he supposed to care about this main character who cannot control his own emotions, who doesn't treasure those who stick by his side?

Sometimes Rin watches Haruka, and suddenly that line is blurry. Suddenly _he_ wants to hit something, and _he_ can't think straight, and it's all just so goddamn frustrating. And he _does_ slam his fist into the wall, and he _does_ throw shit across the room with no regards to if it breaks or not.

Sometimes Rin watches Nitori, and his chest hurts in a way that is both familiar and not. He thinks he's felt this before in elementary school, in a way that he really _really_ doesn't want to put into words. He used to feel this when Haruka would avert his gaze and huff at him. 

_Cute._

Now he feels it during those rare times when Nitori _isn't_ paying attention to him in the borderline obsessive way that he does. Blind hero-worship has it's perks and Rin won't deny taking them for granted sometimes, won't deny that there's a convenient comfort to knowing someone will always, _always_ have your back, whether you're wrong or right.

That word; _cute_. It comes to mind fleetingly as he searches for something to call the fondness. He can never come up with anything acceptable. Infatuation? A crush? And the stupid eight year old in him offers, _Love?_

Much too dramatic. Much too strong a word for a vague feeling that ebbs his chest into tightness at bizarre times. 

He likes when Nitori _isn't_ admiring him. He likes when the younger boy is focused on homework; when he taps his pencil to his cheek, then cocks his head to the side in silent thoughtfulness. He likes when he comes back to their dorm and finds the boy in all kinds of bizarre positions, nose buried in a book. Sprawled out on the middle of the floor on his stomach, laying on his back on the hardwood with his feet up on his chair. Curled up on Rin's bunk of the bed. (He is too deep into the book's world to fluster and apologize and leave on his own, and sometimes Rin lets him stay for hours.)

Or - today: When Nitori is humming to himself as he organizes the letters from home in his desk drawer by date.

His chest feels tight and tense and uncomfortable, and far from the romantic... Whatever it is he usually would feel right now. He has the pleasant butterflies in his heart, but the problem is that they're low in his gut, too, and his throat. He almost feels nauseous from the waves pushing at his insides.

He lost. He lost to Haruka _again_. Haruka who has not been training, who is not passionate, who has no drive or reason or motivation. He _lost_ , and Nitori looks at him over his shoulder with sincerity, pausing in his humming and murmuring, "Next time, Senpai. I'm certain."

Rin slouches lower, seated on his bed with his back barely against the wall and his legs outstretched until his heels are on the floor. He watches Nitori turn his attention back to his cleaning. He sways back and forth, looking pleased as he reads over old letters and sets them back into tidy little rows.

"The rest of your desk is messy as shit," Rin points out, wanting to take out his aggression on _something_. 

They have had this argument a thousand times, and Nitori jokingly huffs at him like a wronged child being scolded. "I know exactly where everything is," He insists again, not looking away from the letters.

Rin pulls himself off of the bed, feeling weighed down at the ankles. Shackles, he thinks. The weight of his dreams are shackles, and the water in his lungs only helps him to sink. He manages to cross the room without drowning, so that's impressive. He leans over Nitori, too close because he knows it makes him uncomfortable, and something about how cheerful Nitori is being is infuriating right now. His eyes dart to the letters in the boys hand. From his mother. From his father.

It makes him feel tense, makes the knots in his stomach one hundred times worse. He wants to bite someone's head off, and all Nitori ever does is soften to him, as if he's volunteering himself for the role. 

Nitori startles at the proximity, and his shoulders are tight. He does not usually tense up with Rin in his personal space. Sometimes flusters, sure. But his shoulders do not usually close in this way, and Rin furrows his eyebrows at the tiny movement.

"Are you alright?" Nitori asks him, his voice concerned, but more than that. Careful. 

"Are you?" Rin asks back, leering even closer. 

Nitori just laughs, though it comes out nervous. He shoves the remaining unsorted letters into the drawer, as if he feels it is imperative that he gives Rin his full attention now. Rin scowls. He does not feel so important. 

"I'm fine," Nitori assures him. But it doesn't assure him, not really.

Not when all he wants to do is punch someone in the goddamn face, and Nitori, with worry etched into fiber of his being, is a prime candidate. 

"I'm more concerned about you," Nitori admits to him, his voice going soft again. It's rare for him to be so upfront about it. He does not hide his admiration - sometimes plays it up for a good joke, even. But this is strange. And Rin knows that it isn't Nitori who is off right now, but himself.

Those sorts of tones will destroy him, Rin sometimes thinks. And he understands exactly why Nitori is so loyal to him. Because Nitori idolizes who he was and his potential. Back when his heart did this strange tightening nauseous feeling for Haruka when they were children. When he still swam for fun, and when the world could be romantic in his eyes. When he could have fucking accomplished something, but now whenever he tries it just goes _wrong_ and _when_ exactly, Rin wants to know, did he stop moving upwards?

Being loyal to the past is dangerous. Things change. People change. He no longer represents what Nitori thinks he does. 

Which is frustrating, half because Rin shouldn't have to _represent_ anything - he is just a person and it's infuriating to be seen as anything more, feeling like he has to fucking _live up_ to something. As if he isn't good enough on his own. (A strange conclusion to jump to, he is vaguely aware of, knowing that Nitori already sees him as so much more than just enough. The insecurities are Rin's own and he knows them and denies them equally.)

Yet the other half is - he wants to. When Nitori looks at him like he is the most amazing person in the world, Rin _wants_ to be. He wants to swim faster than anyone and run further and fight harder for his dreams.

But today all he does is stand too-close to his underclassman, enjoying the discomfort that keeps Nitori's whole body brittle. 

"I wonder," Rin hears himself say, his voice low, "How much you'll put up with based on dead memories."

He expects the smaller boy to look confused for much longer than a split second. But understanding washes over his face - as if he _knows anything_. "I think that," He says, and has to pause for a long moment, working out the words and working up the courage. "You're probably the one who's operating more on old memories than the present. It's bad to get too caught up in anything but the moment."

Rin feels his lips turning in a scowl without a thought. He doesn't miss the way Nitori trades out 'dead' for 'old,' trying to be considerate.

"Fuck you," Rin bites out, because what the fuck does Nitori know? He spilled about his dad, about his dreams and why they are his burden now, and now the kid thinks he gets it. He steps closer still to the boy who looks ever-smaller as he closes the distance. 

Oddly, Nitori seems to relax as he exhales. His shoulders go loose again, and he just looks _confused_. "Senpai," He says, and his voice is gentle and a warning all at once. 

"No," Rin snarls at him, and he feels tall and large, and it's a very welcome change for the day. Nitori does not cower, but he knows that he is prey all the same, and that is exactly what he needs. He wants more, though, wants Nitori to be frightened of him. Stupid ass lets his guard down when Rin is this close, _this_ close to snapping.

Nitori, who feels brave enough to caution his upperclassman, does not shy away. Even as Rin leans in towards him, relishing how far down he has to lean to get to the younger boy's lips. Nitori stays in place, not rigidly, but accepting, as Rin presses their mouths together.

_At least flinch, at least freeze up_ , Rin thinks, but Nitori simply lets him. He does not kiss back. He does not stand up any straighter. When Rin has finally pulled away, he asks, sounding tired, "Did that make you feel any better?"

He glowers at the boy. Fuck him. _Fuck_ him for thinking he knows anything. For being accepting and submissive without losing control - when here Rin is gritting his teeth and struggling to remember who exactly he is and how he breathes.

Nitori shouldn't be able to breathe either, and he doesn't want to answer his question and he doesn't want to let him _win_ , and so he presses into him again, harder this time. With his mouth and with his body, with his thigh out further, nudging it's way between Nitori's legs.

The quiet, "Mmf," Nitori lets out into his mouth is a satisfying, startled sound. Rin pushes them together, shifts his weight so his leg rubs between Nitori's, sliding up carefully. He feels the twitch against him through both their layers of sweatpants, thinks _Yeah, fuckin' thought so_ , but doesn't get any further.

Nitori shoves him away with both hands, palms flat on his chest. 

Even in swimming, the pale boy is all stamina and no strength. The only reason the push successfully makes Rin stumble backwards is out of shock. Rin looks at him incredulously.

Nitori's expression is equally disbelieving. The way his eyesbrows crease is with a scared sort of discomfort, and satisfaction settles in Rin's skin all over again. 

"No," He says, his voice firm even as it wavers. Rin ignores him, naturally, and steps to close the gap again. Nitori's hands shoot out to stop him, but Rin grabs his wrists and tugs them out of the way with ease. He feels Nitori try to jerk away, appreciating the futility of it. Nitori can't overpower him. "This isn't going to make you feel any better," Nitori insists, and Rin is so amused by how wrong he is that he leans in to suck hickies into his neck instead of kissing him quiet.

Nitori, Rin thinks, _stupid_ Nitori. His lavender hair tickles Rin's cheek, and his arms never stop trying to wrench out of his grip. Even as he tilts his head, giving Rin easier access. Even as he inhales sharply, his dick hardening against Rin's thigh.

"You seem to be feeling fine, though," Rin teases him, and Nitori goes brittle. Rin can feel the other boy's legs shaking, his struggles to escape growing weak. It's easy to push the boys hands down onto the desk behind him, hands on top of his. It isn't very practical for keeping him in place, but Nitori has frozen up and stopped fighting. Rin isn't surprised. 

It's so obvious that Nitori is crushing on him. He should be _thanking_ him. 

This is what he tells himself, giving light nibbles up the boy's jawline. He feels Nitori shiver against him, let out a quiet, "Mnn, Senpai."

He kisses him, gentle, because a boy really deserves to be pampered for such an erotic whisper, but Nitori shakes like he's about to cry. It's fine, Rin thinks dismissively. He can't stay gentle for long when he can feel how hard Nitori is, when he's got him pinned like this. 

Nitori's eyes are clenched shut, and Rin can sometimes feel his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. Wavering with the rest of his body. All Nitori manages to stutter out is, "The desk," and when Rin pulls back from nibbling his bottom lip, "Hurts."

Rin lets out an amused hum. So that's his only complaint. He back is pressing into the desk uncomfortably, and Rin's hands are heavy on top of his, like flattening dough down on a table. 

He ignores the words that mean stop. Nitori is still stunned into compliance. He doesn't try to escape when Rin stops pressing his hands down onto the desk. He rests his weight on his arms behind him as if it's all he can do, gaze so low Rin almost thinks his eyes are still closed. When Rin's hands snake to his hip bones, inching under the hem of his shirt and fingers slipping into his waistband, he murmurs, "Don't--" but there is no movement to escape, only a shudder.

He ignores the words that _are_ stop, and slips his hands into his briefs. Nitori's cock twitches in his hand, its tip wet with precum. Nitori's voice has no fight to it, and he mumbles, "No," so quietly Rin almost doesn't hear him. But even so, he bucks up into Rin's grip.

Rin strokes him off much more gently than he wants to, spreading the precum where he can for lubrication. He palms Nitori's dick, sliding his whole hand up and down his shaft and enjoying, more than the spaced out and desperate murmurs to stop, the way Nitori thrusts in his hand anyway.

Nitori's body stiffens up long before he comes. He is so tense that he shakes in place, arms weakly struggling to support him against the desk. When he does finally come, he is mid "Please," and chokes on his words. He turns his head to the side like he's ashamed, his face flushed deep crimson. He stiffens, and his voice cracks when he mumbles Rin's name. 

Rin sees the streak of tears on the other boy's cheek and distantly wonders when he started crying. Nitori doesn't look at him. He keeps his gaze on the floor.

Rin can't tear his eyes off of the boy. He feels frozen in place, displaced from reality. Nitori does not wipe his eyes. He takes in deep, shuddering breaths, and the biggest movement he makes is to lift his weight from the desk.

He can hear the wind in the trees outside, and an out of season rain pouring against the window. That explains why he is so uncomfortable. His whole body is covered in goosebumps and he feels icy pin-pricks all the way up his exposed arms. Odd, he thinks. He does not feel cold. But he feels a stiff pain in his stomach, clenching up like it does in the cold. 

He feels nauseous. 

He feels nauseous, and Nitori is still crying silently, choking back any sound the tries to come out, shoulders heaving.

When Nitori finally manages to speak, Rin is not so naive as to think it is still spoken with concern for him. Nitori grinds the words out between quivering breathes, voice full of hurt and malice, "D-did that... Make you feel any better?"

***

Sometimes Rin watches anime. Not often. He liked it as a kid, sure, but he likes to think of himself as being _pretty much_ an adult, now. He knows which shoujo manga Gou likes, because it's a convenient go-to present for her birthday or Christmas, and he'll admit to having skimmed them. 

He knows what's popular, because it's a boy's school, and the nerds are unashamed. Well, whatever. It's good to be passionate, he supposes.

He has not felt passionate in weeks. 

Sometimes Rin watches anime, because it is all that's on TV, and he can't pull himself out of bed to do much of anything. Reaching for a remote is about all the energy he has to expend. 

At first this was because he was positive he is going to be expelled. There is no way, _no_ fucking way that Nitori is stupid enough to keep his mouth shut. He will speak to a principal, and Rin will be expelled, and he does not have any drive to fight it. He knows that Nitori would only have to speak a straight-forward truth for him to deserve it. 

After two weeks he realizes it's not going to happen.

Nitori has, from what he can tell, not spoken a word of it to anyone.

Not that he would know. Nitori hardly speaks to him anymore. Where before he would walk into the dorm and immediately launch into a boring speech about his day and his classmates and all manner of things Rin has only a fleeting and occasional interest in, now he walks in, gives Rin a very casual, very cheerful, very _forced_ greeting. And then nothing else. 

He tends to his homework in silence. He reads on his own bunk of the bed. At practice he is enthusiastic as always. He does not spend much time at the dorm. Rin still spots him laughing with his classmates. 

No one looks at Rin strangely. His presence and attitude do not offend anyone any more than they used to. 

There is this thing that happens in the anime that comes on in the mornings. This strange thing that Rin does not understand. The heroes call out to the villain. The antagonist from _day one_ , who has done nothing but wronged them. They call out to them, and they _reach_ them. They remind them of who they could be if they weren't evil. They forgive them.

It makes Rin want to kill someone. 

Unfortunately, this someone is himself.

Nitori, who seems to have been avoiding spending his free time in their dorm, sleeps in. It is the first weekend in quite some time, but it means that Rin cannot turn on the television without potentially waking him.

He doesn't want to do that. He doesn't want to bother Nitori in any way. Doesn't want to be in his way, doesn't want to even _exist_ near him. But they are dorm mates, and so he stares at the black TV screen that's been positioned to face his bunk, and listens to Nitori snore.

Nitori finally wakes up at nearly noon. Rin hears the catch in his breathing, then the shifting about of him stretching. He sees Nitori poke his head over the edge of the bed and look both ways, then down, checking to see if he is still here. He looks unsurprised to see Rin still in bed, but there is still something uncomfortable about the face he makes that Rin cannot place. 

"Good morning, Senpai," Nitori greets him easily. 

Rin lets out a quiet "Ahh," in response. Every interaction feels forced and unsure. Is he supposed to act casual? How can he? It's hard enough to talk normally when you've had someone's dick in your hand. Harder still when they didn't _want_ you to.

Nitori disappears back to his bunk, then after a moment climbs down the steps. He goes about getting dressed. There is a clunky awkwardness to his movement, as though he is overly conscious of Rin's eyes on his back. He pretends not to be aware of it, and slips into jeans and a T-shirt with some nonsense English jibberish on it. 

Rin watches his hips disappear into the waist of his pants. Stares at his shoulderblades as the shirt flutters to hide them. He thinks of Nitori who used to hum whatever songs are popular around him, but now wears earbuds instead. 

Nitori pulls an over-sized hoodie, and has to fix his tousled hair afterwards. The rustling of the fabric drowns it out at first, but Rin hears himself snivel in the silence of Nitori's pause. He stops in place, back still turned, and listens for a moment as if to confirm what he heard.

Rin holds his breath and tries to stifle a second snivel. His eyes sting with his efforts to stop from crying.

"Oh my God," Nitori cries, whirling quite suddenly. Rin startles backwards and feels his back hit the wall. He feels a tear finally slide down his cheek. Nitori rushes to the side of the bunk, dropping to his knees beside it to keep at the same level as Rin. "Are you okay?" He asks, voice soaked with worry. "Do you feel sick? Do you need anything? Medicine? A bath? I can start one for you!" 

He is so honestly, _sincerely_ concerned. It only makes the tears come harder from Rin, and his whole body feels hollow. As if trying to fill the space, Rin curls into himself, shuddering with a silenced sob.

Nitori's hand reaches to touch his forehead, to check his temperature. Rin realizes this position must look pained. "I'm fine," he chokes. It comes out angry. He didn't mean for it to.

"Your temperature feels normal," Nitori concedes, not looking evenly remotely comforted by it.

"Nauseous," Rin tells him, despite having just said he's fine. It is not a lie. He thinks of Nitori turning his face away from him and whispering no like a mantra and considers vomiting. 

"I'll get you medicine," Nitori says, his eyes darting away before he begins to stand. Before he can get too far, Rin grabs for his wrist to keep him. Medicine won't help, he already knows. Not when it's in his head and his heart and his lungs. It is in _who he is_ , and he is some kind of colossally terrible person. It feels strange to realize this, as if he is observing someone else's actions and judging them.

But he is sick with the hatred that comes from knowing it is himself. 

Nitori flinches away so hard that it breaks Rin's grip, his eyes wide and frightened. He looks even more horrified a second later when he realizes what he's done. He settles back into place on his knees, his hands clasped together and coming to rest on his legs. He murmurs, "Okay, no medicine... Okay."

For a long moment they stay like that. Rin's body is wracked with sobs that he tries to stifle, and Nitori does not look away and does not comfort him. He does not speak.

Rin buries his face into his blanket, half using it to wipe his tears and half to hide his face. Muffled: "I'm sorry."

He can't bring himself to look at Nitori's expression. He thinks of his passive aggressive question - "Did that make you feel any better?"

No. 

And neither did apologizing. 

But there is quiet for so long, and he needs to know what the other boy is thinking, or at least needs to try and figure it out with more clues than just a persistent silence. 

Nitori's expression is unreadable. He stares distantly in the direction of the window. "I'm not alright," He says eventually, and his voice is so flat that he sounds indifferent.

Rin feels like he's pushing the words from his lungs with his breath. "I know."

"I just - I feel nauseous randomly. Or I cry." The smaller boy's voice shakes, but his expression is one of forced neutrality. Rin sees his lip quiver uncontrollably. He feels his own chest lurch with a new wave of tears. He seems to hesitate for a long moment. "I'm angry and I'm resentful, and I want you to feel guilty."

That's fair, Rin thinks. Nitori's words are sincere. He is not cruel just for the sake of hurting this time. He is honest. 

And so, Rin believes him, even when he adds, "But I also forgive you, and don't want you to be upset."

Rin can't mute a wail. "You're an idiot!"

"I know, Senpai," Nitori's says, and his laugh is self-depricating. 

Rin's eyes are shut as he wipes at them with the blanket again. His tears are starting to subside. He does not feel entirely better about it. He does not know that he will _ever_ stop feeling like shit. Half of Nitori's words a brutal honesty that makes him hate himself and want to die, but the other half are soothing and in his desperation, almost amusing. He laughs back, aware it sounds just as broken. 

He is surprised to feel Nitori's hand on his shoulder after the boy had jerked away from him so harshly. He doesn't blame him. 

But he also doesn't understand.

Nitori's fingers brush on his skin gingerly, carefully. For a moment he keeps his eyes shut and tries to even his breathing. Stop crying. Focus on the line being drawn down the length of his arm. When he feels he is sufficiently calm, he opens his eyes. Nitori is staring at the touch with a sort of nervous wonder on his face.

"Sometimes," Nitori comments, as if talking to no one in particular, "People do messed up stuff. And you forgive them anyway."

Rin's hand twitches as his underclassman's fingers run across his palm. He does not initiate anything. Nitori is the one who slowly, curiously, entwines their fingers. His expression is one of interest, as if he isn't quite sure what he's looking at. Or what he's doing. 

Rin is careful to close his hand slowly.

Nitori smiles at him with a shadow of something he doesn't know; squeezes their hands together faster. "I'm not fragile, Senpai."

Ignoring him, Rin still makes sure to move slowly when he pulls the boys hand up to his mouth. He pretends not to notice that Nitori's whole body tenses when he kisses his knuckles.

But Nitori huffs at him, and Rin slowly realizes what that look had meant. Frustration. Nitori is not broken. He does not always need to be handled with care. Rin wonders how he will know when he does and doesn't. He is sure both times will exist.

***

Sometimes Rin reads books. They are the silly novels Nitori leaves laying all around their dorm room, and he never knows what to expect. Sometimes they are trashy romances between men so pushy Rin can hardly find it romantic at all and women so submissive that Rin judges anyone who feels they can relate. Sometimes they are fantasy novels, where children go on adventures in magical worlds. Sometimes they are sci-fi stories about time travel and love and the reason for living. 

Sometimes they are self-help books. Nitori has always had them.

"They're just interesting," Nitori has told him. "I read them not necessarily because I feel I need help, but because they help me to understand other people's problems. They always have a lot of personal stories from people, so it's very interesting."

He has them on all kinds of things, almost all of which do not apply to him. Divorce, eating disorders, gambling addictions, parenting, outlooks on life and future careers. Abusive relationships.

Nitori's parents are happily married. Rin watched his eating fade out for a while, but his appetite seems to have come back since their talk. Nitori dislikes even casual betting, though he almost always very sure of himself. Nitori is single, so no children will come for quie some time. (If he even shacks up with a girl at all, Rin thinks with a posessiveness that he is very careful to keep in check.) Nitori is already happy in life and seems quite set on a career plan he has explained to Rin a couple of times. 

That last one, though.

Rin hates that he blushes and that his mind rushes to think "It's not as if we're in a relationship or anything." He knows he has bigger priorities.

Like that he sees himself in the stories. That, if Nitori followed the suggestions, they would probably never speak again.

And that it would be completely reasonable.

He reads the first hand accounts of victims and feels guilty in rolling waves that stab his insides. He reads the writings of abusers and hates that he can understand them a little bit. 

There is a girl who writes her story of abuse from her boyfriend. The breaking point, she writes, was when she found herself sobbing on the kitchen floor, covered in bruises, telling her best friend "An unhealthy relationship can become healthy again."

And realizing it wasn't true.

Rin can't keep reading, for a moment. He sets the book down on his chest and stares up at the ceiling. He must stay that way for quite some time, because Nitori should have been gone for hours, but opens the door.

Fleetingly, Rin is self conscious of laying on the floor in the middle of their room. Fleetingly. He stares at the boy, upside-down. A smile tugs at Nitori's lips as he shuts the door behind him. He approaches, then leans over Rin, his form blocking the light. Rin has spots in his eyes from staring directly into the light, but he can still make out Nitori's face over him. 

Nitori's eyes scan across the title of the book in his hands, and Rin is much, _much_ more self conscious of that.

"Er," He says. 

"That one is pretty good," Nitori says. His smile looks a bit fake, but Rin has no intention of calling him out on it. "I think it helped me to understand a lot of things."

"It's okay," Rin says, attempting normalcy.

There is a long pause. There always is, before Nitori says anything to do with it. It is a gigantic wall that they two of them usually ignore, but sometimes it needs to be acknowledged. "There were parts I related to, but also many that I didn't. So. Don't read too much into other people's stories when we're not them."

Not that Rin enjoys being called out, but there is something one hundred times worse about things being acknowledged in the other direction. He snatches the book off of his chest and sits up suddenly, snapping over his shoulder, "Don't comfort me."

"I'm not," Nitori says, blithely. "I'm just telling you."

Rin is still disgruntled, but turns his back to Nitori once more in acceptance. "I wan't relating to them, anyway. It's about couples and shit."

This time Nitori is the one to stammer, "Er. Well. I know. I just..."

The pause is uncomfortable. Rin shifts in place and feels his ears heating up. 

"That..." Nitori begins again. In the reflection of the window, Rin can see him shifting his weight awkwardly. "I mean... Now definitely would be a bad time, but..."

When he realizes Nitori isn't going to continue, Rin prompts, "But?"

Apparently unaware that Rin can see him in the reflection, Nitori buries his face in his hands. His voice is casual as ever, but Rin is captivated by the silent motion to shyly hide away. His chest hurts in the way that his younger self would call love, and it swells with the younger boy's words, "Maybe later. Or something. I don't know. When I feel better."

"Yeah," Rin agrees. His whole face feels hot. "Maybe later."

**Author's Note:**

> [Original Prompt](http://iwatobiswimclub.dreamwidth.org/893.html?thread=389501). 
> 
> Ahh... My babies I love you both.......


End file.
